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Success!Ezine
Volume 6 Issue 10 -- October 2009
DrCarolWebster.com
Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved
Success!Ezine
is a Free newsletter provided to you by
Dr. E. Carol Webster to help you get ahead in life
and enjoy your success.
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E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist
consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL. Feel free to call or
e-mail for more information.
Dr. Webster is author of
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep
Your Sanity Once You Get There and The
Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! |
Feature Article
Inflated Egos Ignore Ethics
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2009
It happens all
too often these days – those in power forget that they are subject to the
rules that apply to the rest of society and suffer a fall from prominence
because of their greed or abuse of privilege. Typically, arrogance and an
inflated sense of importance are at the root of this. And, in fairness to
many of these individuals, those around them have helped them to believe
that they were “above it all”. People pander to them, tell them what they
want to hear, and shower them with benefits that they haven’t earned or
otherwise wouldn’t be entitled to. They let them slide on customs and
conventions, making it easy for them to believe that rules are for “the
little people” and don’t apply to them. Over time, their egos become more
inflated and feelings of entitlement more pronounced. For many, these
qualities have been a part of their core personality all along and often
are factors that have propelled their success in some ways. After all, to forge
new territory in business or to make tough, unpopular decisions requires the
ability to act without fear or paralysis because of guilt or “conscience”.
Taken too far, though, means feeling perfectly okay about using your power
to prosper by manipulating others, exploiting them, or by breaking the law
without feeling any guilt – and, often, without getting caught for many
years. No different from the common criminal, the longer you are able to get
away with this behavior, the easier it becomes to do. Indeed, some may
actually reward you in business for these “talents”. But you can expect this
grandiosity and feeling of invincibility to lead to your demise at some
point, so take steps to avoid the fall.
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Don’t Believe the Hype |
Sure, you may
be a wonderful individual, but are you really that wonderful?
Probably not. The people around you will be extolling your virtues day and
night, but you can’t take this too seriously. Their intentions are to curry
favor and, while you realize this intellectually, remember it emotionally.
Keep your feet on the ground.
The chorus of
“yes men” and “yes women” around you will be deafening, so don’t allow
yourself to get out of touch with reality. Make sure that you have plenty of
Critics in your Success Entourage – those closest to you who you trust and
turn to for guidance and advice – who will “tell it like it is” and offer
candid assessments and opinions even though they know you may not like what
you hear. But note that a serious problem with inflated egos is that you may
start ignoring even your trusted Critics as your success grows, so these
folks must be very confident, assertive, tenacious folks who will keep
hounding you with their blunt assessments of your thoughts and behavior --
particularly when they feel that you are headed for trouble.
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Keep Up With Codes of
Conduct |
Small errors in
judgment and ethical breaches can easily become routine if you’re not
constantly clear about what’s expected of your behavior. Once you become
comfortable with breaking rules, you’re more likely to feel emboldened to
engage in other violations, so keep yourself in check. Attend training
provided by your organization or professional association. Get on the
mailing list for all changes and updates to the code of conduct in your
field. But don’t rely on yourself alone to stay abreast of these changes.
Have your assistant track updates and make sure that you sign off on them.
Schedule consultations with your counsel to ensure that you’re up to date on
everything. Yes, these things are a hassle but just view them as a cost of
doing business – and staying in business!
There are many
benefits of being successful and it’s fine to enjoy the prominence and power
associated with your success. But be smart about this. Remember that the
rules of society apply to you too, and that the fall is farther and
harder from the top.
About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL and is author of
Success Management: How to
Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There
and The Fear of Success: Stop
It From Stopping You!
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Ask Dr. Webster...
Dear Dr. Webster:
I’m always on a plane going somewhere for my job and have the worst luck for
getting stuck next to someone who wants to talk the whole flight. I usually
put up with it because I don’t want to be rude but now I’m very bitter. What
can I do?
--Trapped by Talkers
Dear Trapped by Talkers: This problem is second only to those who
are trapped on trains or in cars with cell phone addicts. On a plane,
however, the talker is looking for an interaction with you, a brief
relationship of sorts, so not only is your solace interrupted, you’re being
asked to meet a need that you didn’t seek out. And your problem is
complicated by the fact that there's nowhere to escape to even if you
wanted to leave. It’s fine to be polite and to exchange very brief small
talk as you get settled in your seat, but certainly you should not feel
obligated to be entertainment for a stranger. Many talkers are in sales and
have learned that everyone is a potential prospect so they are eager to
connect with you and anyone you may know who might want to do business with
them. This is wise of them, but probably of little benefit to you. Other
talkers are very lonely or needy souls who are delighted to have hours of
uninterrupted time with someone. And still others are just very social folks
who’ll yak non-stop if you let them, but who can take a hint if they see
that you don’t want to be bothered. But the signal must come from you.
So understand that you deserve to be left alone if you want to and stop
acting so “nice”. Shift your body away from the talker, bury your head in a
book, or immediately put headphones on to enjoy your music, DVD, or
in-flight movie. Many talkers will keep gabbing anyway, but you should feel
no need to respond – particularly if they begin commenting about what you’re
reading or watching. This is uninvited contact and does not obligate you in
any way. If they persist, take direct action by saying “I prefer not to
chat. I’m looking forward to reading my book” or “seeing this movie”.
Talkers have to learn that their needs don’t trump yours and that they’ll
have to bother someone in another seat or wait until they get to their
destination to get the socialization they seek.
--Dr. Webster
Got a Question?
Ask Dr. Webster
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Success Motivator
Never let pride be your guiding principle. Let your accomplishments speak
for you.
-- Morgan Freeman

Success Tip
Take the High Ground and
Never Give It Up
..in order to achieve “invincible” status, you must remain ethical. The
reason is simple: as soon as you cross the line into unethical territory,
even for just a moment, you are forever vulnerable to a career-ending turn
of events. This vulnerability can manifest itself in terms of criminal
liability, bad press, or a reputation-damaging lawsuit—you never know until
it hits. By definition, therefore, you lose your invincibility the moment
you cross the ethical line.
From the book:
Staying Power
by Thomas Schweich
Contemporary Books, New York, 2003 |
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Missed
An Issue?
Here's another chance to read up on topics of interest: |
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ISSUE |
FEATURE
ARTICLE |
|
September 2009 |
Incivility in the Workplace |
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August 2009 |
Enhance Your Image |
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July 2009 |
Value Vacation |
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June 2009 |
Helplessness Hinders Success |
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May 2009 |
Post Downsizing Stress Syndrome |
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April 2009 |
Don't Be Foolish in Fallen
Economy |
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March 2009 |
Hang Tough In Tough Times |
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February 2009 |
Talk Straight During Uncertain
Times |
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January 2009 |
Career Contentment |
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2008 Issues |
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2007 Issues |
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2006 Issues |
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2005 Issues |
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2004 Issues |
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2003 Issues |
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Success!Ezine
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology Consulting
DrCarolWebster.com
954.797.9766
Ezine@DrCarolWebster.com
Disclaimer: The information in this
newsletter is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a
substitute for obtaining direct professional help. |
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