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Feature Article
 

Crabs in the Barrel – Part 2

How to Move Up When People Try to Keep You Down

 Dr. E. Carol Webster
Copyright © 2004

 There may be no greater frustration than to work hard to get ahead, only to have others undermine your efforts and try to pull you down. Known as “crabs in the barrel,” people can envy your success and go out of their way to do things to hold you back. While this is depressing and aggravating, it should not keep you from striving to move forward in your life, so regain your focus and learn how to climb out of the barrel in spite of all the claws that may be snapping at you.

 You need to keep your eye on rivals, but don’t let yourself become preoccupied with them. You know they’re up to no good and there may be a sneak attack around the corner, but try not to spend every waking moment worrying about this. Since you’re probably not as devious and plotting as your competitors, it’s hard to anticipate what they may do next, so expect something, but wait until it plays out before giving it any real attention. Becoming obsessed with rivals and what they’re doing is a real energy drain and takes its greatest toll on you. It’s your concentration that will suffer and your sleep that will be lost, so conserve your resources so you can stay on top of your game. Competition is a fact of life, keeps you sharp and, though some don’t play fairly because of their own feelings of inadequacy, you can still win.

 It’s easy to get off track and to become sidelined by the antics of people who are trying to prevent you from getting ahead. But, it’s essential for you to remember where you’re going. You can’t get there if you lose sight of where you’re headed, so keep the goal clearly in your sight. Most importantly, get a concrete grasp of the skills, attitudes, and behaviors necessary to take on the new job or assignment you’re interested in. Make sure that you’ve done your homework and that you’re actively preparing yourself to successfully handle the new responsibilities if an opportunity becomes available. Carefully study those who already occupy these positions so that you understand what has made them successful. “Adopt” them as mentors by observing and reading about them from afar if you’re not fortunate enough to have direct contact with them. You must have a very clear roadmap of where you’re trying to get to if you intend to make it there.

 While it’s essential for you to know where you’re headed, you don’t have to broadcast it to the whole world. Be selective and strategic with whom you discuss your plans. Sometimes crabs have so much to work with because you’re talking too much about the next job you’re applying for or the next perk you’re going after. Keep this to yourself. Avoid the break room or the coffee klatch altogether if you’re such a talker that you can’t help yourself. Get into therapy if you must. Only those who are devoted to your advancement have a need to know, and if one of them turns out to be a crab in disguise – you’ll learn from this and will know better next time.

 You can’t be naïve about the need to play office politics. Yes, you were raised to believe that if you worked hard you would be rewarded with recognition and promotions, but it doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes people advance for reasons other than the quality of the job they’re doing and you have to understand the rules that underlie advancement in your workplace. If advancement requires volunteering to work on the company family day or quality improvement committee, then be the first to sign up. If it means making your boss’s life easier by staying late to ensure the on-time completion of a critical project, then make arrangements in your personal life so that you are free to pitch in. Don’t get bogged down in resentment that some people are getting ahead by unfair means. That’s the way it is and you have to learn to deal with this. Master the game and play to win.

 The “crabs” around you can’t make you look bad if you document your successes and ensure that others know about them. Many people have difficulty tooting their own horn because we’re taught not to brag and show off, but management can’t extol your virtues and reward you for them if they’re not aware of all the great things you’re doing. Those in all industries are stretched so thin these days that they hardly have time to keep up with what they have to do each day. Unfortunately, many don’t have much time to reflect upon the positive things that may be going on around them. So, let them know. They are likely to be most impressed with accomplishments that add to the financial bottom line and contribute to company prosperity and success in meeting contractual objectives. Tell them how your work is making this possible, as well as anything else that is perceived of value in your company. Whether you like it or not, you have to stick with those activities and accomplishments that matter in your workplace, not those that you may enjoy but that do not add value to your organization – in management’s opinion.

 Just as celebrities have fans, you have a fan club too as a part of your Success Entourage – your success team that helps you get ahead in life. There are many “fans” around you who are rooting for your success and who are more than happy to praise you and your accomplishments. They may be coworkers, superiors, customers, even friends and family members. This helps to counter the crabs who are trying to put you down. Think about the people who are most interested in what you’re doing both inside and outside your organization. Let them know about your triumphs and give them permission to tell others about them too. Spheres of influence outside your company can have a very positive impact, so cultivate relationships and add these movers and shakers to your Success Entourage.

 You Have the Power to Win

 It is possible to defeat the crabs in the barrel who strive to keep you down. Keep your focus, remember where you’re headed, and keep doing those things that have gotten you this far in life. Don’t be daunted and subdued by the crabs. You’re a winner, so keep climbing up until you reach the top!
 

About the Author: 
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Fort Lauderdale, FL and is author of 
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There and The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You!

Ask Dr. Webster....

Dear Dr. Webster:

I have to make a presentation for work and am petrified. Should I try to get out of it?

 -- Scared

 Dear Scared:

 Public speaking ranks higher than most things in life as a source of tremendous fear for people. Your fear is a form of “stage fright” but you can learn how to manage it by using relaxation techniques to stay calm before and during your presentation. Read up on these or seek help if you don’t already use them.

Most importantly, know your stuff.

Many people suffer undue anxiety because they haven’t really prepared for their presentation and become more and more panicked as the time for their speech nears. So do your homework and know your material – cold.

Join Toastmasters or a similar organization to perfect your public speaking skills if you really want to become proficient and confident. For many people, it’s a necessary work skill and you’ll be asked many times to speak in public throughout the course of your life. Become good at it. You’ll be glad you did. Good luck!

--Dr. Webster

 

Got a Question?

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Success Motivator

Nobody is as powerful as we make them out to be.

 -- Alice Walker

  Success Tip

Ten Telltale Signs
That It’s Time To Move On 

1. Your prospects for promotion are bleak because there are a number of other candidates ahead of you.

2. You're bored stiff with your job and can't wait for the weekend.

3. You find a continual overload of work or other factors are stressing you out.

4. There's been an organization change which relegates your department to second-class status.

5. Your working hours are changed and it's impossible to work out a reasonable compromise.

6. Despite your best efforts you find it nearly impossible to get along with your boss.

7. Your responsibilities keep increasing, but your salary doesn't.

8. You took a new job recently, but it turns out that the job wasn't what you expected.

9. You were in line for a promotion but were passed over in favor of someone else.

10. You don't have a logical reason, but your gut feelings have been telling you for some time to get yourself another job.

  From the book:

The Workplace Survival Guide
 by George Fuller
Prentice Hall, Englewood Cliffs, NJ, 1996

Success!Ezine
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology
DrCarolWebster.com
954.797.9766
SuccessEzine@DrCarolWebster.com

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