Feature Article
Put
Your Child on the Fast Track for Success
Dr. E. Carol Webster
Copyright © 2004
Is your child on the fast track for success?
Help your youngster learn the skills to get ahead in life. Keep his or her
focus on their primary responsibility during the school years
-
going to school. Not just attending class, but performing up to academic
potential and becoming a student that contributes positively to the school
and community.
Success Skills
for Kids
Strong Positive
Peer Group
While kids like to pick their own friends,
parents must give them a little help when they come up short in meeting
peers who are on the ball. First, they must learn that kids who do well in
school and who occupy positions of campus or community leadership are not
nerds or wimps. These kids are put down on television sitcoms and elsewhere,
but help your youngster get to know them personally by enrolling in clubs or
other activities. This contact usually overrides negative stereotypes about
smart kids or kids who work hard to emulate positive figures. It’s also
helpful to schedule contact with your adult friends or role models who
epitomize successful attitudes and behaviors. This will help your youngster
have personal experiences and positive images of those who are getting
ahead. And, don’t forget to include contact with successful people you don’t
know personally, such as public figures, authors, or others your youngster
can meet at conferences, book signings and other events. These experiences
go a long way to counter negative images and stereotypes your child may have
about people who are successful in areas other than the ones they consider
to be “cool”.
Strong Communication Skills
Like it or not, society places a high value
upon strong verbal communication skills. Help your youngster speak well so
these skills can be used in all formal situations. You learned how to do
this a long time ago
-
learned that you must speak differently at work, on the phone during a
business call, and when you’re in other fussy situations. Then you talk the
way you want to when you get home. But, your youngster may not fully grasp
the need to be able to comfortably switch back and forth between hip speech
when with their friends and more formal speech when in class or similar
situations. Kids need to understand that they may be presenting an
unfavorable impression if they do not speak properly for the circumstance
they are in at the time, and that they may miss out on opportunities because
of this. Ensure that your child feels comfortable speaking in public. Too
often, children shy away from the spotlight because of poor speaking skills.
Help them evaluate their written skills too. Do they communicate the image
of a winner? If not, help them get it together. And, give them plenty of
practice. Enforce the custom of sending thank you notes for gifts, writing
letters or sending e-mails to elders or friends who live out of town, or
responding to articles in youth magazines or newspapers. Any additional
reading will strengthen vocabulary skills and help your youngster use
language comfortably and effectively.
Positive
Leadership Experiences
Expect your child to be a leader. Even at
very young ages, children are tapped to represent the class at school
meetings and other activities. Rather than deride or hide from these roles,
help your youngster understand the value of having a voice and the power to
change things that happen in life. When you hear complaints about school
rules or activities, point out the value of being active in student
government so your child understands how rules come to be and how to change
them. Take your child with you when you go to vote. When you hear that only
nerds join chemistry clubs or work on the school newspaper, seize the
opportunity to explain how membership in these activities provides kids with
opportunities and experiences that others will never know. Then do a little
more than that. Help your youngster get information about the clubs and
activities viewed as less popular and attend a couple of meetings. Then talk
about whether the activities are only for nerds after your child has had a
chance to get to know some of the kids that are participating and what the
activity has to offer.
In all of these areas, kids must understand
that they can obtain success skills and still be hip too. Don’t feel that
you’re forcing your child to do something he or she doesn’t really want to
do. You’re helping your youngster learn how to make decisions based upon
fact, not stereotypes or the opinions of those who may not be on the fast
track for success. You’ve got a lot of outside negative influences to
counteract in order to help your child excel, so don’t worry about doing
your job -
it’s called parenting.
About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Fort
Lauderdale, FL and is author of
Success Management: How to
Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There
and The Fear of Success:
Stop It From Stopping You!
