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Success!Ezine
Volume 7 Issue 3 -- March 2010
DrCarolWebster.com
Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved
Success!Ezine
is a Free newsletter provided to you by
Dr. E. Carol Webster to help you get ahead in life
and enjoy your success.
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E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist
consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL. Feel free to call or
e-mail for more information.
Dr. Webster is author of
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep
Your Sanity Once You Get There and The
Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! |
Feature Article
Parenting
Power
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2010
Kids
can be a handful. They have access to more information and stimulation
than ever before and enjoy friends and experiences that can spark their
advancement well beyond their chronological age. While your darlings may
impress you with their precocity and self-expressiveness, others may
view them as fresh mouthed and smart alecky -- the kind of kids no one
wants to be around for long. Just as you successfully manage your staff
and career, put time and energy into raising socially adaptive children
too.
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Remember that You’re the
Adult |
Very often parents forget that they’re in charge. You have the superior
knowledge, wisdom, and experience to establish the “rules” about how kids
are expected to behave at home and when with others. You may want to give
them “room to grow,” but this doesn’t mean that you let them do whatever
they please. They shouldn’t be hanging from the rafters or running amok
because they’re “full of energy,” need to “work it off,” or have to kick,
touch and feel everything that triggers their curiosity. Use your common
sense. Better yet, take a parenting class. Society doesn’t require you to do
this, but it can help you determine healthy values, attitudes and behaviors
to teach your children if you’re having trouble managing this on your own.
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It’s OK to say “No!” |
Unruly kids typically are out of control because their parents have trouble
setting limits for them. They don’t know what behavior is considered
unacceptable and, when they do, they have learned that there are no negative
consequences for not following these “rules”. People head for the hills when
they come around because their parents don’t do anything about their
behavior. These parents also tend to cop an attitude if others scold their
children or try to get them under control. Remember that kids learn how to
rein themselves in because of the boundaries you set for them and this means
saying “no” to many things. It’s fine to get their input. Fine to learn how
they feel about things. But parenting is not a democracy. You’re not their
peer and don’t need their “vote” or consent. You’re the boss and what you
say goes.
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Take Time to Parent |
Yes, your career is demanding but parenting requires your time too. Many
people decide that they don’t really like parenting so they delegate this
responsibility to nannies or other caretakers. Frankly, some of these folks
do a better job because they have better temperaments to deal with
youngsters’ behavior but, ultimately, the buck stops with you. Your child
must have structure, supervision and discipline along with nurturance,
stimulation, and enrichment. Take time to provide it or be certain that it
is adequately being provided by someone.
Parenting is work and requires ongoing fine tuning as the needs of your
children develop. In addition to being bright and inquisitive youngsters,
they must be disciplined and able to adapt to society. They may be cherubs
to you, but will be terrors to others if you don’t do your job well.
About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL and is author of
Success Management: How to
Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There
and The Fear of Success: Stop
It From Stopping You!
|
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Ask Dr. Webster...
Dear Dr. Webster:
I’m real bummed out about the earthquake in Haiti. A lot of my co-workers
have relatives there and still don’t know if all of them are okay. This is
all we talk about everyday and I just can’t find any way to help them feel
better. All I do is listen. Any ideas?
-- Feeling Helpless
Dear Feeling Helpless: You’re doing a lot by just listening. Your
co-workers may not be getting this support at home because all of their
friends and family are probably leaning on them. Unfortunately, the
comfort you want to provide is not possible because you can’t assure them
that their loved ones survived the earthquake. You can’t assure them that
everything will turn out just fine. For your colleagues, being impacted by a
devastating crisis is bad enough. Not knowing and not being able to organize
their feelings one way or the other day after day is traumatic too.
And keep in mind that you’re going through some degree of this trauma with
your co-workers, so you have to take care of yourself also. Since you’re
hearing a lot about the earthquake and its tragedies every day at work,
don’t go home and watch hour after hour about it on TV. Too much can get you
down. And don’t hesitate to limit how long you’re listening and talking
about it at work. This isn’t being rude or unsupportive. It’s giving your
own emotions time to rest and rebound. To reduce some of your feelings of
helplessness, organize a “Help Haiti” activity at work, participate in one
in the community, or simply make a donation. Doing something will
help you a great deal, will bring some comfort to your co-workers, and will
aid those who need it the most – the people of Haiti.
-- Dr. Webster
Got a Question?
Ask Dr. Webster
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Success Motivator
Children respond to the expectations of their environment.
-- William Grier
Success Tip
Perfect Phrases to Counsel
Employees Going Through a Difficult Time
In counseling employees on personal issues, your role is not to act as a
therapist, but to emphathize, direct the employees to services that can
help, and address the workload.
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(Name), I
am so sorry about your __________. |
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I was sad
to hear about __________. |
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It has got
to be hard dealing with __________. |
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I am aware
that you are under a lot of pressure. |
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Let me
know if there is anything I can do to support you. |
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If you
ever feel a need to talk, I’m here. |
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You are
not expected to be “up” all the time. Please feel safe to be real. |
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I know I
can’t fix it, but I can listen. |
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If we need
to adjust your goals for a while, let me know. |
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Obviously
we need to get the job done, but let’s see how we can adapt your
requirements to accommodate your needs for a while. |
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I
encourage you to contact our employee assistance program for whatever
support you can use. |
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I find
support groups to be incredibly helpful. I found one for your situation.
Can I tell you about it? |
From the book:
Perfect Phrases for Managers & Supervisors
by Meryl Runion
McGraw-Hill, New York,
2005
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An Issue?
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ISSUE |
FEATURE
ARTICLE |
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February 2010 |
Work Can Wreck Relationships |
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January 2010 |
Set a New Direction for the New
Year |
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2009 Issues |
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2008 Issues |
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2007 Issues |
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2006 Issues |
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2005 Issues |
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2003 Issues |
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Success!Ezine
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology Consulting
DrCarolWebster.com
954.797.9766
Ezine@DrCarolWebster.com
Disclaimer: The information in this
newsletter is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a
substitute for obtaining direct professional help. |
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