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E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology
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Success!Ezine
Volume 6 Issue 6 -- June 2009
DrCarolWebster.com
Copyright 2009   All Rights Reserved

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E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL. Feel free to call or e-mail for more information.

Dr. Webster is author of Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There and The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You!

Feature Article
 

Helplessness Hinders Success

E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. 
Copyright ©  2009

Many people fail to get ahead in life because helplessness hinders them. They’re easily overwhelmed by challenges and setbacks, and give up quickly because they believe they’re powerless to change their situation. But this is learned behavior. So it’s never too late to learn how to overcome helpless thinking and savor success instead.

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 Accept That You Have Power

Even if you’ve heard your whole life that good things only happen to you by chance, make it your business to challenge this notion. Look back at the times when you’ve done well and search your memory for ways you helped bring that success about. It’s guaranteed that you’ll find some evidence. You do have personal power and must remind yourself of this. If you’re prone to say “it’s just luck” you’ll need to work harder than others to learn to believe in your ability to make things happen in your life.

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Garner Hope

Those who are prone to helplessness tend to be sorely lacking in hope. And, of course, this only makes matters worse – confirming that things are never going to get better so you might as well give up. Reject this pessimism.  Those who view life’s challenges as temporary obstacles bounce back quicker and better. So, even if you don’t really believe it now, train your inner voice to assure you that your bad times are temporary and that happier days are ahead.

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Take Action

As with most things, it’s not enough just to change your thinking. You have to change your behavior too. If you’re going through some tough times right now, don’t sit back waiting for fate to take a hand. Take action. Chipping away at the problem – even in small ways -- beats doing nothing every time. And once you get going, you’re going to feel better about yourself, which builds your confidence further and leads to better decisions and more effective action.

 Helplessness keeps you mired in inaction and daunted by the disappointments that life brings your way. Use your personal power to pull out of this pattern and take pride in the success that you make happen in spite of the downtimes along the way.  

 About the Author: 
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL and is author of 
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There
and The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You!

 

Ask Dr. Webster...

Dear Dr. Webster: I’ve been blessed to hold a prominent position for the last few years and think I’ve done a good job in my role. I’m moving on to something else now, but don’t think people believe I’ve helped enough of them benefit from my position. I don’t feel real bad about this, but I do wonder whether I could’ve done more.

-- Not Thinking Enough About Others?

 

Dear Not Thinking Enough About Others?: It is tough to feel responsible for helping others advance when you occupy a position of power and influence. But, you’re right – people do expect it. While they sincerely celebrate your success and are happy for your good fortune, they want to cash in on it in some way – especially those you’ve known well. They fantasize about lucrative business connections you can make for them or linkages for well-paying jobs, though they may not always verbalize this directly. Having said that, you maintain the right to be totally selfish and to look out for yourself alone. But if you see that there are ways you can help others move up in life as a result of your advantageous perch, how wonderful. By all means, do what you can to help them. Since it sounds like you have a little more time until you transition on to other things, take a moment to reflect upon how you can bring a little advancement into the lives of those you care to help. As you look back over your life, you’ll probably feel proud that you did.

 

  --Dr. Webster

Got a Question?

Ask Dr. Webster


Success Motivator

Make your success work to help others achieve their measures of success and hope they, in turn, will do likewise. This is the kind of chain reaction that is music to my ears.

 -- Berry Gordy


Success Tip

Unique Potential and Purpose

1.       What do I feel are my greatest strengths and personal talents, those qualities which comprise my unique potential? …

2.       If I had unlimited time and resources, what would I choose to do?...

3.       What are the most important relationships in my life?

4.       What are my most important roles in life? Much frustration comes from the feeling that we’re succeeding in one role—as an executive, professional, or entrepreneur, for example—at the expense of other important roles, such as that of parent or spouse…

5.       In what kind of work does my burning passion reside? These are dimensions of myself that I daydream about and wish I could channel more energy (and time) into…

6.       Who is the person who has had the greatest positive influence on my life?...

7.       What am I most proud of in my life? Describe how you’ve made a difference to your business, community, or family. What are the greatest contributions you hope to make? Project this into the future, say 100 years out. Is this the legacy you want to leave, the difference you most want to be remember for? If not, what is?

8.       Start a page in a notebook. Write a sentence or two in the present tense that evokes the emotional depth of what you care about and most want to do. And then enter the heading, “My personal calling and purpose in life is…"

 From the book:

Executive EQ
by Robert Cooper, Ph.D., and Ayman Sawaf

Grossett/Putnam, New York, 1996
 

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E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology Consulting
DrCarolWebster.com
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Disclaimer: The information in this newsletter is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for obtaining direct professional help.

 

Disclaimer: The information on this web site is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for obtaining direct professional help.

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