Fight
the Fear of Failure
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2004
The fear of failure will hold you back. Many people
don’t get ahead in life because they fear stepping out of their comfort
zone. They keep doing the same things the same way, looking for different
results without realizing that success requires taking some risks. Often
they’ve been subjected to a lot of criticism in their lives – particularly
when they’ve tried to think for themselves or do something new. They
learned to “play it safe” – even to their own detriment, rather than
experience possible disappointment or defeat and have to hear about it
from others. Unfortunately, this approach prevents progress. It keeps you
stuck marching in place rather than forging a new path that may mean
greater opportunities and happiness for you.
Where
do you want to go?
Part of tackling the
fear of failure is deciding what success looks like. Where are you trying
to get to? If it’s a new job, what will it entail? Where is it located
ideally? Visualize the plan. Give it some life. You can’t attain something
when you have no idea what it is. And allow yourself to fantasize – to
shoot higher than maybe you do normally. You can always settle for less
later. For now, go for the gusto!
What
do you have to do to get there?
Once you have some ideas
in mind, identify the steps you will have to take to make success happen.
When you’re afraid of failure, you like to believe that things “just
happen somehow” or are due to luck, instead of accepting that you have the
power to control some things in your life – even if not everything – and
you can take steps to increase your chances of winning. So, what’s
necessary to go for the new job? Update your resume. Call friends and
associates who can provide you with information or outright help you get
an interview. Identify those things that will move you closer to your
goal. And don’t be afraid of this process. Just thinking about what you
need to do doesn’t commit you to a decision, so give yourself “permission”
to freely formulate a plan.
What’s
the worst that will happen?
Combat crippling fear by
identifying the worst possible outcomes if you take the plunge. You are
already playing a litany of criticisms in your head, so just get them out
in the open. Then you can deal with them. Minimize your chances of failing
by actively visualizing all the things that could go wrong and by putting
plans in place to deal with each of them. You avoid failure as best you
can by being prepared.
Take
some action!
You can’t win if you’re
not in the game. You’ve got to make a decision to try. Success is not
guaranteed and you might lose, but you are certain to get nowhere if you
do nothing.
Failure
is Not the End of the World
When you try to move forward and things don’t work
out, feelings of failure will occur and are upsetting but they don’t make
you a failure. You are more than any single decision you make or
action you take. So, don’t let your emotions make a bad situation seem
worse than it actually is. Try to identify the lesson you can learn from
the failure so that you can avoid making the same mistake in the future.
That will spell success the next time.
It takes work to fight
the fear of failure and often the process must be ongoing. Try taking baby
steps to move out of your comfort zone so that the fear does not overwhelm
you – but take some steps. You’ll feel empowered and proud of yourself.
Most importantly, you’ll move closer to getting what you want in life so
seek success coaching if self-help is not working for you. Get in the game
so you can win!
