If you’re tired of being
pushed around in life, start by realizing that things don’t have to stay
this way. You can learn how to assert yourself so that people stop
imposing their will upon you. More importantly, it’s important for you
to learn how to speak up so that you can get what you want for a
change.
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Identify What You Want |
People can’t meet your needs if they don’t know what they are. Often
this is why others get their way all the time. They’re clear about what
they want and don’t hesitate to say so. They keep taking and
taking and view your lack of objection as “permission” do so. Take stock
of your feelings. What do you want to do? What do you want
to say? Start getting in touch with interests and desires.
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Ask For What You Need |
Once you know what you want, you can pursue new goals for yourself and
enlist the help of others when necessary. Ask for what you want. This
may be a raise at work. It may be more time with your spouse. There’s no
guarantee you’ll get what you ask for. But, you’re guaranteed not to get
it if you don’t ask.
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Don’t Cave In From Criticism |
When you speak up and make your feelings known, you open yourself up to
criticism. This is why many people keep their mouth shut – because
they’re afraid of criticism. Afraid others will put them down or reject
them in some other way. Learn from the feedback you receive. Try again.
We express ourselves better and learn how to get people to see things
our way when we have to re-think and re-work things. While no one
relishes criticism, rest assured that that you will survive it.
Push Back
When you’ve been pushed around all your life, you have to learn how to
push back – verbally, that is. Stand up for yourself when someone is
mowing over you. It’s okay to say “no”. If you’re at work and your
colleague insists: “It’s your job to handle this”, take a minute to look
at what’s being shoved in your face and respond: “You may be right, but
I’ll have to look it over and let you know.” If it’s not your
responsibility, give it back. If you’re at home and your spouse bellows:
“Get ready! I’ve made dinner reservations and we’re going to be late!”
it’s fine to respond: “That was very nice of you, but you didn’t ask if
I wanted to go so give me a minute to see if I care to go along.” You
have needs, rights and feelings too and it is up to you to see that
people respect them – and you
