Feature Article
Be Frank with Friends
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2011
Friends are important to your success. Value
them. But return the favor by advancing their success too. Be frank when
you’re asked your opinion or when you see them getting off track. That’s
what makes you a friend and a valuable member of their
Success Entourage. They don’t need empty support or only a cheering
section -- they need candid feedback to help them deal with the stresses
of our times and to get ahead.
 |
Speak
Up |
As a good friend, you don’t have to “mind your own
business” or keep your opinions to yourself. That’s what makes you a friend
and not simply an acquaintance or an indifferent coworker. People need a
candid critique of their decisions and behavior at times and who best to get
that from than those who are “like family” but who are not bogged down with
all the baggage that sometimes prevents relatives from giving helpful
advice.
|
Stick to the
Point |
If there’s something painful that must be said,
make your point and leave it at that. Don’t go on about other issues or pile
on criticisms that pummel your friend. You can always comment about other
things another day. Stick to the concern that they present to you today or
that you feel is important to bring up because it’s holding them back in
some way. The feedback may sting, but they’ll be glad you had the concern
for them to “tell it like it is.”
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Suggest
Solutions |
Your friend needs the critique, but they’ll
appreciate your concrete suggestions for improvement even more. Sometimes
people can’t figure things out on their own, so they value your advice, even
if they don’t ask for it directly. Let them talk it out and actively help
them identify strategies to solve the problems they may be experiencing.
Remind them of their strengths and how they may not be using them to their
advantage. And don’t hesitate to jump in to help where you can. You have
power and influence, but may fail to pick up the phone or take action to
“make it happen” for others. As corny as it sounds – “That’s what friends
are for.”
It takes courage to be a good friend. You can’t
always avoid the unpleasant times when you must be frank with those you care
about. Speak up when necessary and go the extra mile to help when you can.
